Been A Long Time

It has been awhile since I have posted on this place. Thought I'd give a quick update. Working full-time @ The Crappy Yellow Tag, possibly going back to school sooner than later. Trying to pay off some debt and figure out when I can get my own place. Been listening to the New Amsterdams, Silversun Pickups, love the new Modest Mouse, among a bunch of other bands. Last great concert/show was @ the Comet Tavern with the Lashes and the equally cool Music for Animals. Last great movie I saw probably goes to Spider-Man 3, forget all the haters.

That's pretty much it. Cheers for now.

P.S. I can't believe I have a myspace now....see my last post.

Untitled

So, after reading the last post I just wanted to thrown in my thoughts on the matter. MySpace used to be cool and I think it still is cool when used for its original purpose. A place for the promotion of material for various art forms. Of course now its become another place where some people try to find some sort of validation by gaining the most of something -- be it friends, view hits, etc. Also, it is a place in which it seems that people shunned things like thefacebook or even instant messenger have decided to voice their opinion...hypocrits. Then again, looking at it in a social context, it may just speek volumes on how disconnected people are from traditional social structures in which they reach out through postings their current : "mood" or "currently listening to".

However, I guess I should take a step back. I mean, I have AIM, a facebook account, and this blog. I post my own, to some, mundane irrelevant musings and therefore may be seen as a hypocrit in my own right. Well, I would just like to say to those that you are most likely right. But when I see 100s of people claiming they are Mr. T or Britney Spears. It is hard for me to enjoy the good that is myspace. Maybe someday I shall put up something there but I hope it would be to promote something like my ill-honed art or something that needs to be promoted in a space that I can afford. Until then, all you got is this blog.


P.S. All you MySpacer's be careful the "man" is using it to judge if you are suitable to participate in society now.

It's the final countdown.

Well actually, it’s not, unless you include the countdown going on in my head as to the time I will inevitably stumble my way into my sheets. What am I talking about?? It’s only 10:30pm! On a Monday night. The day before a holiday. A holiday where I won’t be going to work. I should be out partying. And singing karaoke…specifically “The Final Countdown” by Europe whilst making magical gestures in the air. But instead, I’m sitting in my computer closet, bored out of my MIND, and listening to 80s rock. Because I’m cool like that. Because that’s how I roll.

Update: Now we are listening to “Thriller” by bad-boy Michael Jackson (and bad in the makes-you-shudder-to-think-you-once-dreamed-of-visiting-neverland sort of way…not in the bad-ass way). So yeah, I’m here. At the apartment. Doing nothing, clearly. Hence the rambling. I decided to post because, 1. my last post was kind of a downer (not that my lack of a social life is any more uplifting unless you’re looking for someone to measure yourself against to feel better) and 2. because I just logged on to AIM (the once social node that connected me and my buddies) to find it deserted. Just when I thought there HAS to be someone out there as lame as me…alas, my loan friends are listed stoically in their idle state: noahxtreme, ThgShRgShMexican, and atpeck1. Oh, and let’s not forget my brand new friends Moviefone and ShoppingBuddy. Those two are NEVER idle. Always there for me when I feel like a bout of consumerism.

But I digress. My point is that little less than two years ago, a log onto AIM meant for sure an interesting late night conversation with that buddy you keep meaning to call but never get around to. Now, however, a new social connector threatens AIM's domination. Or so it seems. Once again, antibunni rides sadly behind the trendy high school bus in her short yellow bus for the socially inept. And this time, unlike the FACEBOOK, I refuse to jump on the bandwagon.

Yeah, you knew where this was going. MYSPACE, the bane of my existence, has stolen a large portion of my AIM buddies. Even those who’ve never used AIM before but somehow find it NECESSARY to now join myspace. Yes, Ms. Gwaumish, I’m talking about you. Not that you would ever read this….see, the girl isn’t even that big into the internet and yet SHE has a myspace account. Gah…

Update: I’m now on a “Highway to Hell” lead by rock legends AC/DC…awesome.

Anyway…not so different from the facebook, myspace is another popularity contest except this time you have to invest WAY more time into creating a fabulous web page. Complete with pics, backdrop, video clips, and theme song. Shit, I can barely decide what to listen to right now. But a theme song? A song that is supposed to represent who I am to the world? That’s too much damn pressure! I’d feel all competitive with my fellow myspacers…. “oh, Suzie Popular has this song. That’s so cool, why didn’t I think of that!?!” or… “look at how many friends Johnny Somebody has! I was way cooler than him in high school! When did he become all awesome and hip-to-now?!?”

Not that I base my life and its importance on frivolous comparisons. No. Not me. I refuse to join so that I can be non-conformist. Like all the other non-conformists. We rule... in a disjointed, non-directional, anti-group sort of way...

Well, like I said, I will be not be making a myspace page so stop begging. I’d rather sit at home on Friday nights and listen to “More than a Feeling” by Boston and pry into other people’s lives by reading their myspace pages. But if I WAS to have a myspace page (and that’s a HUGE if, as in, it ain't ever gonna happen), it would probably look like this:

Font: Times New Roman

Font Color: White

Picture: Stick-figure girl

Intro Music: Gregorian Chant

Favorite Quote: “To be a non-conformist, you have to dress in all black like we do and listen to the same music we do.” -- South Park goth kid

Favorite Movie: An independent film NO ONE has ever heard of.

Favorite Musician: The world music of an obscure band no one has ever heard of in an independent film that even FEWER people have heard of.

Goal within the next year: To avoid creating a myspace page.

And finally…Mood: Supercilious :-)

I feel like I'm taking "crazy pills"

So, aside from the fact that I am indeed crazy, as of late, I feel like my life is a less adventuresome version of a “Beautiful Mind.” I am John Nash and everything around me is all a figment of my poor imagination. For those of you who know me, this is not a new musing. The idea that I may have invented my own reality has come up several times before wherein my friends resent the fact that I don’t view them as real.

But in essence, isn’t it all true? Isn’t everyone’s reality in fact a creation of their own mind so that they can deal with their surroundings while attaching some absurd logic to it? That’s the way my life seems to be.

To begin, I have this “friend” (so-called) who I have known for over a decade. And, as all things in life do, our “friendship” has to sadly come to an end. Maybe it’s because I am insane and have turned him into a person I loathe out of my own doing. Or maybe it’s his secretive nature to talk about me behind my back and never have the balls to deal with his issues head on. Or maybe it’s a cosmic force telling us from the beginning that we two are in fact doomed. It’s probably a combination of all three.

We have been in a perpetual state of fighting since the first day we met. And while I love his sense of humor and enjoy him tremendously, it will never work out between the two of us. And it has taken me nine years to realize it. Why nine years? Let’s just say I have never had some one in my life who is dually my best friend and worst enemy all wrapped up in a nice little package.

For my part, I am bitchy (see previous post). When I fight, I am defensive and can blame people for the entire problem when really, I have contributed to it just as badly. And I do expect a lot from people (hence the few friends who actually read this blog). And sometimes, unintentionally, I have hurt people I care about by revealing too much about what they confide in me behind closed doors. And for all those reasons, and many more, I am sorry.

For my part, I am also a loyal friend. As my dear little bujuhdt once famously quoted, “you don’t break up with your friends.” And this is true, especially for me. I will work on things to the point of exhaustion where I am sobbing uncontrollably, unable to comprehend. I have never broken up with a friend until now. And it’s a hard thing to deal with when it is not in your nature at all to abandon something you’ve worked so hard for.

But sadly, I am done. Since this is my own take on things I might as well reveal why I am done.

I am done reaching out. In my crazy little mind, I have been reaching out since I took the first step to establish a carpool with him. I have reached out to him after our infamous battle across the sea. I have reached out to him and apologized, searching for a way to resolve our issues. And I reached out last week, pleading for answers and receiving a “used to it.” Since he is so used to it, it should come as no surprise that it’s over.

For his part, he is a great person. He is funny, inquisitive, mystifying, and above all a good friend to those he really cares about. He is a good listener always willing to stare blankly into the wall as you ramble on about your own shit. He is kind to his friends and family. He lets everything roll off his back, unwilling to be daunted continuously by old problems and past shit. He works hard, is very smart, and takes time to get to know people. We have had wonderful times together, and stayed up late talking, and bonded over the hectic mess that is each of our lives. He has confided in me and I in him as we’ve grown up together. And I am sad to be letting all this go.

Maybe it’s because we communicate badly. Maybe it’s because we’re stubborn and neither of us wants to be the bigger person and have the conversation that desperately needs to happen. Maybe it’s just not meant to be. For whatever reason, the fighting has continued and now must come to an end. Because I can’t live my life waiting. I have stood at the train station waiting to board and I will wait forever if I don’t do something. If I don’t take a step, turn around, and walk in a new direction. If I don’t finally say to myself that I am worth more than that. If I don’t recognize that as much as you love someone, you can’t always make them fit into your reality. Friendships can’t always be mended. Old wounds and pain have divided us onto separate sides of the pool table when you look across and see the person you thought you always knew for the person they really are. And that person is a great person for others. But not for me.

Since I overanalyze everything, I’m sure I’ve overanalyzed this. And in his own way he will say to all of our friends that he has no idea what I’m talking about. And maybe it’s just the crazy pills babbling on for two pages. Whatever it is, I want to be out of the insane asylum and feel like me again. I want to change my reality.

We bring out the worst in each other when friends should be bringing out the best. This is the worst of me. To be so blunt, angry and finished. But then, I guess it was just in our nature to have things end this way.

Oh the bitching

So SOMEONE out there, I won't mention any names *clo* is bitching. And he's bitching for several reasons. One, he feels (I would have to sadly agree) that this blog of ours has gone the way of cargo pants - fun for while, but when you think about it, not too functional at all. The second complaint is that, while the title of this enchanting blog is "the pros and cons of living" he feels that the decor of the blog - namely black - is two bleak for the two people who read it (thank you David and random park ranger guy).

Now, I'm all about bitching. It's something I do quite well in fact. And while I understand the logic behind his poignant arguments, I can't help but wonder if it's worth it. After all, with EVERYONE and their grandmother having a blog these days, who has time to read this shit. Hell, I don't even have time to read this shit.

So thank you for you input Mr. Anonymous. But I fail to find your arguments convincing enough for me to drag my fat ass off the couch and away from such riveting shows as Project Runway and my new season set of Sex and the City.

HA! So that didn't go well...

So I made a promise and it didn't exactly come through now did it. Well to tell you the truth life has been kind of hectic and a bit up and down....I guess what it basically means is that I can comfortably say that the Cons outweighed the Pros for awhile.

Seriously though life has been interesting. Let us start out with the boys in blue at the Big Crappy Yellow Tag. It has pretty much sucked to be "employed" there since the holidays have ended. I use the term employed loosely since I have worked a maximum of 10 hours per week and I think I've broken the four hour shift barrier once. Anyways, I would like to put it out there that corporations can go walk off a cliff.

Secondly, the drawing has been alright, I did do some pieces. But they were either not meant for me to keep or they were not up to snuff for posting on this website. I apologize for not following through on that either....actually, not really. The one thing I'm a perfectionist, plus I don't have a scanner or Photoshop anymore....see the employment situation. However, I have thought of some ideas for a new comic, something I haven't worked on for awhile....I'll keep you posted, or at least as much as I can.

Finally, I'm writing my senior thesis paper for my bachelor's degree in History/Social Studies. And by writing, I mean I am lacking motivation to sit down and actually write the damn thing. I picked a topic that is a bit dry....as dry as the Middle East to be exact....Israelite and Caananite Religion. YIPPIE.

However, not everything is bleak. For my latest birthday I got an XBox360 and I love it. It has single-handedly gotten me back into gaming. I am currently playing Perfect Dark Zero, Condemned: Criminal Origins, Call of Duty 2, King Kong, and NBA2k6. All great games, but to be honest not exactly stand out innovative. What really has grasped me is the presentation and interface that just screams cool. I think once games like Morrowind, Fight Night, and Grears of War come out I will be in gaming heaven....not to mention that the Nintendo Revolution and the PS3 later this year......mmmmhmmmmmmm *gurgle* *gurgle*

Anyways, I become bored with the click, clack of the keyboard. Till I decided to stumble over here again. Plus, it allows me to write more later....hopefully not two months later, but later nonetheless.

P.S. RIP Arrested Development *cue the Final Countdown*

Previously on the Pros and Cons of Living.....

So.....

It's been a long time, around the end of August to be exact. I mean, I guess its to be expected. The better half was full-timing it at the working scene, while I moved back to what I do best....sleeping in class :-D Or as I like to sometimes call it being a full-time student with as many breaks I want.

Seriously though, this being my final year at Western (crossing my fingers, I hope you are too), I figured it was time to buckle down and finish up my undergraduate career. I took Biology 101, Pacific Northwest History, and Historical Methods. It was an intense quarter and it gave me a run for my money. Surprisingly, I can't take multiple-choice test anymore, I guess the many years of reading and writing hurt that once amazing skill of mine.

On the non-school side, I was officially promoted to Customer Service representative 1 at the Crappy Yellow Tag. Which was awesome and much better than what I had been doing before. I also cancelled my WoW account, which for those who know me was something I was spending money on but not actually taking advantage of. Unfortunately, that did not mean I stopped gaming. I picked up Ninja Gaiden/Ninja Gaiden Black, X-Men Legends II, and Smackdown v Raw 2006. All fine games and worth the money. Still need to get through Ninja Gaiden (in the top ten for this past counsole generation) and X-Men Legends II.

Which brings me to the X-Box 360. I've been trying to get a hold of one since launch and am asking for it this Christmas...I probably won't be getting one, DAMN MICROSOFT AND THEIR STUPID MARKETING STRATEGY!!!!! But its okay, I can wait for awhile...I think....I hope, I just keep hearing about it from people at work and school and it is enticing me. Also, if the Ninja Gaiden sequel is a Microsoft-exclusive, count me in I guess?!?!

Finally, but definently not least, comes the best part of the past three months. My girl and I celebrated our two-year anniversery this year. And I can't be happier. I hope for many more memories and I want to thank her for being the best....I'm just realizing this is crossing into being really mushy. So I'll leave it at that....Wait, I want to give credit to her for slowly getting me back to drawing stuff. I've drawn a couple of pieces I'm proud to call, well pieces. And I'm sketching more again. Cheers to that!!!!

Anyways, I'm gonna call it good for now. Hopefully I'll be posting more regularly here and maybe, just maybe I can start posting some artwork on here. No promises, but here's hoping.

A Little Insight on AntiBunni (or Jenni's List: Because She Posted First and Took the Clever Name)

THREE NAMES SHE GOES BY:
1. Jenni
2. Jennifer
3. Bujuhdt (don't know if I spelt that correctly)
THREE SCREEN NAMES SHE'S HAD:
1. TearsInHeavenGirl
2. MinuteBleu (spelling again)
3. SnowBunni
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS SHE LIKES ABOUT HERSELF:
1. Her mysterious eyes
2. Shoulders
3. Her nose
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS SHE DOESN'T LIKE ABOUT HERSELF:
1. Her hair has a cowlick in it and its to thin for her taste
2. Her chest (even though they are spectacular)
3. She has no butt, her torso literally sits at the top of her legs
THREE PARTS OF HER HERITAGE:
1. French
2. English
3. Possibly a bit of Native American (if I remember correctly)
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE HER:
1. Bees
2. Being attacked/robbed at night
3. Workplace politics/social structure ;-)
THREE OF HER EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Diet Coke
2. Camel Lights
3. Makeup
THREE THINGS SHE IS WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Brown shoes bought with Carlo at Payless Shoes
2. That hot brown/white tank
3. Glasses that she doesn't need, even though she has prescription eyewear
THREE OF HER FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. Robb Benson
2. The Beatles
3. Radiohead (mostly pre-Kid A)
THREE THINGS SHE WANTS IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Relaxedness
2. Trust
3. Fun and Humor
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. She's been to Europe
2. She's worn a bright yellow leotard
3. At heart she is a republican and believes in small government just like her best friend
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX(es) THAT APPEAL TO HER:
1. Broad, thick build
2. The mystery that is a man's O_o
3. Nice teeth
THREE OF HER FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Watching TLC, particularly "While You Were Out" and "What Not to Wear"
2. Surfing the web aimlessly and not so aimlessly
3. Reading spirituality/metaphysical literature
THREE THINGS SHE WANTS TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Sleep, it's the best part of being awake
2. Have a smoke
3. Basically be anywhere but at work
THREE CAREERS SHE IS CONSIDERING/HAS CONSIDERED:
1. Playwright
2. Jounalist
3. Social worker
THREE PLACES SHE WANTS TO GO ON VACATION:
1. France
2. England
3. Greece (see a pattern)
THREE KID'S NAMES SHE LIKES:
1. I know of Parker
2. Isabelle
3. Brett Ashley...can't think of anymore
THREE THINGS SHE WANTS TO DO BEFORE SHE DIES:
1. Live to see the end of this survey
2. Learn to play the bass and cover "Fixing a Hole"
3. Have a successful job that she's really passionate about
THREE WAYS THAT SHE IS STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. She likes cars, especially cars that, if she were a boy would be said to
be compensating for her small O_o
2. She likes to maintain a strong sense of personal space
3. She is actually an overweight, adolescent boy
THREE WAYS THAT SHE IS STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK:
1. She coordinates her entire outfit, down to the last accessory
2. She spends more than 15 minutes getting ready to go anywhere ;-)
3. She's very affectionate and caring, even with her rock hard Golem-like exterior

Current Mood: Case of the Mondays

Things I know about Clo that he wishes I didn't

ALL ABOUT CLO:

THREE NAMES HE GOES BY:
1. Carlo Antonio
2. C-lo
3. Fiddy8
THREE SCREEN NAMES HE'S HAD:
1. D1NonlyClo58
2. HardRockin006
3. Magius…Magnus...something or other…the old one…from back when he played Magic the Gathering…;-)
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS HE LIKES ABOUT HIMSELF:
1. His beautiful, beautiful eyes
2. His Hulked-out hair with all it’s rage-of-fury cow-licks
3. His Hobbit feet…how else would he attract handsome young virile best friends to accompany him on long, dangerous quests….
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS HE DOESN'T LIKE ABOUT HIMSELF:
1. His stout figure
2. His arms
3. He hasn’t yet crossed over into the uncharted realm known as "scenester"…and that makes him "a disappointment" ;-)
THREE PARTS OF HIS HERITAGE: - oh where to begin!!! ;-)
1. Mexican, Spanish, French, Portuguese, Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, Koreanese and German (those nasty Jew haters!)
2. What does that boil down to…Filipino pure blood – not like those filthy mud-bloods you’re always hearing about.
3. American…doi.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE HIM:
1. Spiders
2. Jenni and all her demanding ways
3. Heartbreak…I stole that from Tim Buckley…but it couldn’t be truer for Clo! ;-)
THREE OF HIS EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Rice…as all good Asians require
2. Gaming
3. Snoo-Snoo… ;-)
THREE THINGS HE IS WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Hulk pajama bottoms
2. An orange pumpkin T-shirt
3. Tightey-whitey boxer briefs
(I bet I got all three right!!!)
THREE OF HIS FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. The Get Up Kids
2. The Foo Fighters
3. Blink 182…Weezer…JEW…one of the three or all of the three in third.
THREE THINGS HE WANTS IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Emotional and physical communication
2. Some one he can depend on and trust
3. A best friend
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. The Big Crappy Yellow Tag owns Clo's soul
2. He's kissed his best friend…on the lips…in front of people…and his best friend is a guy…
3. He shares his birthday with Paul Stanley of Kiss, Ian Hill of Judas Priest, and Steve Adler of Guns N’ Roses
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX(es) THAT APPEAL TO HIM:
1. Brunettes
2. Girls gotta have curves – even if they do swerve dangerously close to obesity ;-)
3. Intelligence and a sense of humor (not physical, but still essential)
THREE OF HIS FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Video games
2. Screaming/singing all the words at a great concert
3. Snoo-Snoo…hey, the guy has needs. ;-)
THREE THINGS HE WANTS TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Have his mother make him breakfast - bacon, eggs, and rice of course
2. Fall back asleep
3. Play World of Warcraft until his fingers bleed.
THREE CAREERS HE IS CONSIDERING/HAS CONSIDERED:
1. Comic book artist
2. History teacher
3. Game developer/programmer…the one that works with software…not hardware…hardware bad…software good…
THREE PLACES HE WANTS TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Europe – Italy probably
2. The Caribbean
3. Las Vegas…I think…well who knows, at this point I know he just wants to go somewhere with someone other than his immediate family…
THREE KID’S NAMES HE LIKES:
1. girl: Parker
2. girl: Isabelle
3. Girl with the middle name Christina
THREE THINGS HE WANTS TO DO BEFORE HE DIES:
1. See the Get-Up Kids comeback tour
2. Create an online comic (or paper comic)
3. Star in "Batman Revivify" in 2050
THREE WAYS THAT HE IS STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. When he can, he prefers to drive, pay for food, and open my door (hey, I can dream can’t I)
2. He sometimes closes himself off emotionally
3. He reads comic books and plays MMORPGs - nerd...
THREE WAYS THAT HE IS STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK:
1. He squeals like a girl while being tickled
2. When he's not closed off emotionally, the flood gates are open and he's comfortable talking about his feelings…a lot....
3. He hates to admit it, but he totally plans his future with his girlfriend…extra mushy!

Current Mood of Clo: Sleepy & Hungry